This is the latest prompt from Tara’s Gallery posts. I had trouble with this one… I tried, very hard, but ugly is not a word I use, and rarely something I see. Only one thing kept coming back to me, and there was no way I was posting THAT on t’interweb.
But then.. I visited the Moiderer. And she made me feel a wuss.
After all, I talk about so many things here, why on earth is this worse?
I think because its about the only thing I feel shamefully responsible for.
This blog is about being brave and honest.
Scariest thing I’ve ever done.
Here it is.
The ugliest thing in my world.
It’s not really the size – though that’s not pretty. I’ve been overweight for years, I’m used to the wobble. No, it’s more. Since I had Bear, my stomach has not felt like my own any more.
The caesarean messed it up – not only does it feel oddly doughy, weird and jellylike, but it is also totally numb in that entire region I am holding in the picture. Never warm and part of me. It’s this big mass of wobbly lifeless nothingness.
And I hate it quite a lot.
Ugly is quite a good word for it.
PS – Moiderer? The Belly Battle is ON. ;)