sigh – just a little bit TOO 11 today.

No.1, riding high on the effect of his new found wellness, decided he was up for a day at his best friends. The day involved swimming (and sliding and diving and much naughtiness according to the lifeguard) at the local pool, pizza lunch quickly followed by a trampoline session in the garden, then a frenetic game of hide and seek, and finally a jaunt down to the river for some serious Boy Stuff in the mud and trees to round the day out nicely. I picked him up and he was flushed and excited, eyes sparkling, face beaming… Happy. By the time we got home he was walking slowly and his shoulders had droope, his flushed cheeks quickly paling. By the time I was trying to wrestle Bear in to bed he was quietly crying in frustration at the pain and tiredness...

Jolly and the Bike

So we’re halfway through the Easter holidays. And it’s been great. No, really! Admittedly not much work has been achieved, but enough so that I’m not fretting or grumpy. And not so much that the children are fretting and grumpy. What was that? I found a balance? Really? Shazam and huzzah! I have also had the delicious delight of watching Jolly learn to cycle – finally finally finally we removed the stabilisers (actually, that’s not true, we just plopped him on to Boys bike as his was FAR too small) and out we went, just the two of us. He was a wibbly wobbly Boy of Nervousness… but he persevered, he actually listened and absorbed advice, he took a deep breath and smiled when a tearful frustrated tantrum threatened to overwhelm...

Can you hear that?

That’s me, quietly ROARING a great big satisfied and relived cheer. No. 1 sleeps. It is 9.30, and this is the earliest he has slept for weeks. No pain, no sadness, no whizzy active brain, no yo-yo-ing in and out of bed as he tries to wear himself out by reading in his chair… just a normal, tired 11 yr old boy climbing in to bed, snugging down and falling fast asleep. Hoo-bloody-ray....

Update on no.1

Apparently i’ve not been blathering enough… He’s kind of back in school 5 days a week now (with no PE), but he hasn’t quite managed it yet in practice – he had tonsillitis which knocked him for six for about 3 weeks, then he got over that, and got a cold… but on the whole he’s doing good. He didn’t get in to the High School he really REALLY wanted, and that crushed him a bit… but he’s more up than down, and when I think how far we’ve come since this time last year he is a bit amazing. He still has trouble in the evenings and early mornings, but his occupational therapist suggested some evening coping strategies which seem to work well – and thankfully once he’s asleep he’s mostly...

First CFS team appt

We saw the CFS team yesterday who were lovely (and not too airyfairyhappyclappycaringandsincere either), and very positive. It was a Q&A form-filling session for them to understand the background and where Cam is right now – and really I learned as much from him as them. He was being very honest and a few things came out which I didn’t know about. He was very tearful and emotional at one point too, which was a bit upsetting. It was all a bit of an eye opener, actually. I certainly didn’t expect lines like “I HAVE to get back to school. I HAVE to. It’s SATS this year, and I HAVE to do really well, and get good grades, because they stay on my record and affect everything at high school”. WTF???? Followed by “and what happens if you don’t get good...

Most days it’s okay

…but not today. Today is definitely a Not Okay day. Have just been blue this morning – No.1′s going significantly downhill now the others are back at school. Two bad evenings, and much more moody and sulky and pale and slow again. *Sigh* He was doing SO well, and I’m sure so much of it is psychological – he’s very down at everyone else being back at school and finding himself alone and isolated once more. And on my part I had a mental “it’s just not bloody FAIR” moment at myself this morning on the drive back from school. Porper thumpy-steering-wheel-hot-angry-tears episode. This is his Year Six. HIS year – and yet he’ll not be there to enjoy being a King of this particular small playground. Not...